Member-only story
I’m Not Crying! Are You?
It’s something so natural that it happens straight outta the womb; but I haven’t been able to do it for years. Can you relate? (If you aren’t a medium member yet, you can view this article here)
Sometimes when I’m alone and overthinking things, I tell myself, “I should cry it out; release my emotions, feel something.”
I furrow my brow and take a deep breath. I look at the clock, adjust myself in my chair, purse my lips, and then… Nothing happens. So I decide to get back to work; there are so many projects to finish!
Harkening back to my early days — in my twenties and thirties — I took some time to cry, monthly. In hindsight, I realize it was a way of feeling my hormones flow. And it was a way of feeling feelings. It was almost a kind of reset or reboot.
My husband didn’t like seeing me cry, so eventually I avoided doing it around him. To him, crying meant something was wrong. Crying meant weakness. Crying meant perhaps, even, instability. My sobs were something he wanted to fix but he couldn’t, so he took it personally and then got mad about it.
“What’s wrong?” he’d ask.